


In the Forest

by bessmertny



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M, another nessian fic much surprise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2016-10-28
Packaged: 2018-08-27 13:25:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8403373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bessmertny/pseuds/bessmertny
Summary: The Suriel, Cassian thinks, is a little fucking prick.





	

The Suriel, Cassian thinks, is a little fucking prick.

They’ve been searching for it all day, with bags of dresses and rags and whatever they thought it would be enough to make that creature happy, but it was still nowhere to be seen.

 

He already knows that Feyre will laugh herself hoarse when she will know that her mate and the two most deadly Illyrians in history passed hours trying to do what she did in mere moments.

“Rhys,” he says, each of his words a silly provocation “next time we need to do something like this, you stay home and we bring Feyre. She’s a lot most useful than you are and way better to look at.”, and even if his brother punches him for the taunt, a little brotherly fight is way better than the utter boredom clawing at his brain.

“Oh, don’t worry.” Rhys says “We will soon be home so you will have all the time you want to stare at you favorite  Archeron, and I’ll take care of my Feyre.”

Cassian shows him his teeth in response.

Azriel looks at him with sympathy in his eyes, and the fact that Rhys doesn’t even have to say her name because they all know who he is talking about bothers him to no end;

 

_Nesta_

 

Her name sounds like music, _n-e-s-t-a_ , and Cassian needs to rein his thoughts before his mind starts thinking of her, as it always does.

A gush of wind grazes his wings and he shivers slightly, closing his eyes for a second.

He remembers how it was, during those months of recovering, the pain, the utter fear that he would be earthbound all his life, even less than the bastard-born nobody he already is, crushed under the weight of a broken promise.

 

And she was there.

 

By some sort of miracle, Nesta Archeron of all people decided to help, to stand by him, her words like daggers designed to rile him up, to get a reaction out of him, to make him _live_ just as he tried to help her in her new fae body and when, at times, he couldn’t look at her without being crushed by how much he failed her, she was the one to take his chin in her hand in a movement so swift he didn’t even noticed and asked him if he preferred Azriel’s death.

He nearly emptied his stomach at the idea of losing his brother, but he couldn’t stop thinking of her screams, and if only the King wasn’t such a blasted bastard, if only he saw the blow coming for Az sooner, if only they guarded their house in the Mortal Realm better, _if, if, if_.

 

It wasn’t easy for either of them.

And even with his pain, he couldn’t handle the loathing Nesta harboured for herself, for her new body and he wanted- he wanted to show her how perfect she was, how breathtakingly beautiful, how fierce and-

 

And he couldn’t, can’t.

 

He knows there’s a line between them, even now that his wings are covered in scar tissue and she adjusted to her new found immortal body but still, that line scares him shitless.

Sometimes he doesn’t even know how he manages to keep himself from touching her, to bury himself in everything that she is; sometimes he thinks that one moment, one time of her, just once, it would be enough, but he knows that’s a lie because he knows, knows from the devastating need he has of her that if he gets a touch, a kiss, _anything_ , he is going to yearn for it for all his damned life.

 

When he was scared out of his mind for his wings, he used to hear light footsteps just out of his room  at night, and even if it was just his imagination pulling tricks on him he hoped it was her, he hoped it so much he could scent her, and his dreams, _Mother_ \- he couldn’t help but feel ashamed everytime he dreamt of her, both awake and asleep, for how he used his hand pretending it was hers, how many times he recalled how his tongue brushed her neck, his lips kissing her jaw, the perfect fit of her breasts on his chest; it never happened again, them being so close and it is torture of the most horrible kind to have her so near yet so far, to see her fire, to see right through every wall of hers but not being enough to be at her side, to only have what he so desperately wants in his dreams, and even his thoughts, everything that he is has now a become pattern, always circling around her, and even if they could be called _friends_ at this point, after days and days of words made to rile up and hurt, after they both came to a understanding of one another, trying desperately to ignore the fire that roared underneath, the same fire that pulled them together, _friends_  is the last word he would use to describe what is between them.

 

Not lovers, not friends, not exactly family, because he would never have that kind of thoughts if he considered her family- _her under him, moaning, screaming, shaking, her eyes half open, her lips red from kissing, her hips with the imprint of his fingertips_ \- and  he’s been attracted to her like an uncontrollable force from the very first moment their eyes met, with her icy glare and fiery words and it grew and grew from that day and he doesn’t know when lust and curiosity became love and need, but it did.

 

A sharp sound interrupts his thoughts and there the Suriel is, just in front of them and it is way more ugly than Cassian remembers.

“The High Lord of Night and his brothers,” it says, his voice is one of the most hideous sounds Cassian has ever heard “what an honor.” its tone a clear mockery.

“Likewise,” Rhys says, his voice cold “we’ve brought some things you might like, in exchange for one answer.”

The creature smiles, all grey and yellow teeth “Then ask.”

“How can we destroy the Cauldron?”

“Are you sure that is what you want?”, the answer comes the moment Rhys ends his question, like the creature already knew the words that were about to come out of the High Lord’s mouth.

The smile on the Suriel becomes a thing of cruelty as it moves a little closer and Cassian can see the wave of doubt on his brothers face, and it mirrors his own.

“If you destroy the Cauldron, you destroy what it has created. What was the name the King gave her? Oh, the _hellcat_.”

Everything in Cassian’s body freezes, a wave of fear so strong hits him as he remembers that damned day, her screams drilling in his skull again and again.

He’s about to strangle the Suriel with his bare hands when the creature turns to him, cocks its head to the side and says “Wouldn’t it be a shame to lose your mate, Commander?”

Cassian opens his mouth, closes it and finds out that _he can’t breathe_ and in a moment, the Suriel is gone, and Cassian couldn’t care less.

Those words are traveling down his body with the force of a wild forest fire.

 

_mate, mate, mate_

He can’t believe it, how did he not notice, how is it possible, how-

 

Cassian doesn’t wait for his brothers, doesn’t care of their voices calling him, he drops the bag full of dresses and flies as fast as he can, nearly falls, his mind a mess and the only thing he can think about is _her_.

 

He stops right out of the House of Wind; what will he tell her? He can’t keep it to himself, won’t be able to and she has every right to know, but the idea of her rejecting him- _his mate_ rejecting him- is more than he can take.

He breathes and gathers his courage, even as fear seeps through his bones as he enters the house.

 

_Nesta is his mate, his mate, his_

 

Cassian doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t know if he should search for her or not, if he can delay the inevitable just a little longer.

But Mother, he needs her, needs her now more than ever because damn, fuck, she’s his mate, _his mate,_ and he never even thought of having one-but that’s a lie and he knows it because as he looked at Rhys and Feyre and what they have he hoped that if he was ever so lucky to get a mating bond it would be with _her, Nesta,_ but he hadn’t thought it could actually be real, that he was worthy of something precious such as this, such as _her_.

 

He is so, so scared.

The idea of Nesta rejecting him is so painfully clear in his mind he can see how it would go, her cold, beautiful eyes, not even a movement on her face as she says that she is worth more than a bastard-born nobody and she is _right_ and he just watches, helpless, as she takes that string from his chest and cuts until there’s nothing left of him.

 

He doesn’t realize he didn’t move until he hears the sound of footsteps and he knows it’s her, he knows.

She doesn’t speak, she watches him and he wonders if she can feel what he’s feeling, the anticipation and dread and love that are tearing him apart.

 

“What did it say?” she asks and Cassian doesn’t answer, doesn’t even turn to look at her, too scared of what he might do now that he knows and a treacherous part of him asks _can she feel how much I need her? Does she know? Will she ever want-_

“Something went wrong?” there is worry in her voice and he can’t take it and- he has to go to Hybern, has to take that damned Cauldron and hide it somewhere no one will ever find it.

 

He feels it, when she gets closer, and when her small hand closes around his wrist his skin _burns_.

 

“Cassian, _answer me_. Something went wrong?” and Mother damn him, he can’t stop himself, as he turns around and kisses her, pouring all the emotions he is feeling into the blissful contact of his lips on hers.

Her arms go slack at her sides and he feels as her hand leaves his wrist and he whimpers at the loss and he can’t help but think that he is the most stupid idiot ever, how could he think she would want this, want _him_ but then her hands move, her fingers in his hair as she pulls him down, opens her mouth, swallows him whole.

 

Nesta is hesitant, and he remembers that she’s never been touched, never been loved like she deserves

-and he remembers of that poor excuse of a man in the Human Realm, he recalls with satisfaction the face of that mortal waste when he opened the door to find an Illyrian Warrior in front of him.

The urge to protect her, to make sure she is as happy as she can be, it burned through him since that day in her chamber, and now he knows why,

 

_my mate, my mate, my mate_ his mind screams.

 

Cassian cradles her head as gently as he can and opens his mouth slowly and the contact of her tongue brushing his is so perfect but there’s-there’s a change in her scent, and the smell of arousal coming from her goes straight to his cock and he has to calm the roaring in his blood that screams of _taking_ and _marking_ and _claiming_.

 

 He breathes through his nose and fights the urge of taking her against the wall but her scent is everywhere, burns deep inside his lungs, makes him kiss her harder, his tongue brushing on her lower lip and it feels they are the only thing that matters, and the parts where their bodies connect makes him want to scream _more_.

They stop for a second, but he doesn’t move an inch, his forehead on hers.

He knows he should say something but his brain is in battle with his instinct and they are still in the corridor and he doesn’t trust himself should another male even _breath_ in Nesta’s direction.

But he doesn’t know what to say, and if says to go to his room she will think he wants to bed her, and he _wants_ to, Mother he wants to so bad but does she want it?

 

Cassian looks at her, at her swollen lips, at the black of her pupils that nearly devoured the color of her eyes, leaving a thin grey line.

He should tell her, he _has_ to tell her.

 

Cassian thinks of a battlefield, thinks of the moment he prepares himself for the possibility of losing everything.

 

“You’re my mate.” he says, stumbles on the words, fights against the urge of closing his eyes.

Nesta doesn’t move, doesn’t speak, there’s no surprise or joy on her beautiful features but the expression on her face is of someone who already made a decision.

Cassian wants to shake and rage and scream, everything to make the silence cease to exist, everything to get a proper reaction out of her.

 

_Do you want me?_

 

She takes his hand, turns around and starts to walk, not saying a thing.

He follows her, his eyes locked at the back of her head, on the golden brown waves of her hair.

 

He knows this corridor, he knows where it leads, he can’t breathe, _what does this mean, what does this mean-_

When they enter the kitchen, is like the hair as been sucked from his lungs and she doesn’t leave his hand as she takes an apple from a bowl and turns to him, there’s a small smile on her face, and he notices the slight trembling of her hand, her hand that trembles like she’s insecure and how could she be-

“That’s how it works, right?” she asks and his eyes are burning, he has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from crying and she takes a step closer and Cassian has to gather all his strength to not fall on his knees.

“Yes,” he says, as he takes the apple in his hand and bites on it, his eyes not leaving hers, and it’s the most delicious thing he has ever eaten.

 

It takes one bite, only one bite for the roaring in his blood to grow and grow until it’s nearly unbearable, _she accepted him, she wants him, she’s his._

_His, His, His_

Cassian takes a step closer and he hears the sound of the apple falling on the ground as he moves to bury his hands in her hair, and when her arms go around his neck he picks her up, her body against his, their mouths moving in a kiss that’s completely feral and he knows she’s feeling exactly what he’s feeling.

 

He wants her skin on his, he needs so many things in this moment and he will make her feel so good, so good that she will beg for more, if only she will let him.

 

But not here.

 

“Hold on tight.” he says as he walks backwards toward the window, and she understands, she knows he is going to fly out of the House of Wind, and _she trusts him_ , she looks him and nods and his heart is bursting and he flies, and if some tears fall from his eyes it’s not for the wind.

 

_This_ , he thinks, _this_ , as he feels the wind in his hair and Nesta’s body against his, her scent in his lungs so deep as he breaths her in, this is something he will always cherish, something he will do everything to live again and again and again.

 

And once they will be in the Cabin…

He tries to swallow, to tame the sense of anticipation that is forming inside him, to focus on where he’s flying and not fall on his ass.

Her fingers move slowly, tracing the line of his jaw, of his chin, of his lips and he nearly growls at that, his blood boiling, his most primal instincts yelling inside him.

When he sees the Cabin he dives down as carefully as he can, ends up just in front of the door that he opens with a kick, doesn’t let Nesta down, not yet, “Bed”, he says, his voice low and barely understandable, but she-

He will give her all that she wants, he will-Cassian stops in his tracks the moment he feels her lips on his neck, as her tongue trails a line and reaches his jaw he runs for the bedroom, because he will not fuck his mate against the wall, floor, table, door-

_Bed_.

 

The moment her back touches the sheets they both become frantic, hands wandering, touching all that they can and there are so many things he wants to do to her and he can’t stop himself, he takes her breasts in his hands and he can feel her flesh through the fabric of her dress and he wants it off, off, off.

 

He sees as her hand moves to unhook the straps of his fighting leathers and there’s no hesitation in her eyes, even as her hands shake and damn it, _he loves her._

Cassian doesn’t move as she removes the upper part of his fighting leathers, as she moves her hands on his chest, slowly, slowly, so achingly slowly he bites his lower lip because he wants her hands everywhere on him.

 

They are in front of each other now, and he can’t resist the urge to kiss her neck, her collarbone and down, just above her breasts and _Mother, fuck_.

He goes lower as they both lie again on the bed, tracing his tongue above the fabric, just on the peak of her breasts and her back arches, his hands go around her hips, keeping her in place.

He does it again, the touch stronger, his hands traveling up and down her sides, teasing her, and he wants to hear her, he wants to make her-

“ _Please_ ” she says, and the word travels right down to his core.

He goes up to her, tracing his thumb on her lower lip, her tongue brushes it.

“What do you want, Nesta?” he says, his voice barely a whisper, but he knows that she can hear him.

“My mouth or my fingers?” he passes his lips on her ear as he utters the question and she _moans_ and damn him if it isn’t the most beautiful sound he has ever heard.

She bites her lips as his lips travel up and down the side of her face as he asks “Or both?”

Nesta arches again and he can’t believe just his words have this effect on her, _he loves it_.

He wants this- _her_ -so much he nearly shakes but he needs- he needs her to know.

Cassian takes her face in his hands and looks in the beautiful storm of her eyes as he says “ _I love you_. I loved you yesterday and before the Suriel said that- that we are mates. I just- I love you.” he is talking too much and he knows it and even if doesn’t say it back, even if she-even if she doesn’t love him, he will wait. He will wait for her.

“ _You_ ”, she says and there’s such emotion in her voice, in the slight tremble of it as she gets closer, so close they are breathing the same air, “ _You know it_. You know that I love you, every night outside your bedroom door, _you know it_. ”

He closes his eyes for a second, to let her words sink in.

 

_He didn’t imagine it, she was there, she was there, she was there_

 

Cassian feels like-it’s too much, it’s too much, the utter joy her words are giving him, it’s all too much for a male to handle but he wants it all, he doesn’t care if he will die from it, _he doesn’t care and he wants more_.

 

He trails down on her, his fingers on her soft skin and he wants to lick and kiss and bite every inch of her and _he will_ , he will learn her body until he will need only a single touch to set her ablaze.

Cassian looks up at her as he works on the buttons of her dress, and she looks at him like she’s daring him to go further and he tries very hard to not just break the buttons and have her.

He manages to open up her dress and helps her out of it, and the breath stops in his lungs, his eyes eating up every part of her exposed body and a thin white fabric covering her breasts and most intimate parts.

His lips move on her, kissing her breasts again, her stomach, her navel and he looks up at her, keeping his movements slow so that she understands what is happening and to make her feel everything, he wants to make her feel so good and not only because she’s untouched and damn him, he can’t believe he will be her first, that _he_ will be the one to make love to her for the first time.

 

Cassian slowly moves her underwear down her legs, his tongue trailing a path down her belly, his hands moving to hers and she entwines their fingers together.

He kisses between her legs and hears the intake of breath she takes so he decides to tease her a bit, to make her desire build up until she can’t stand it, until all she can do is moan his name.

Cassian passes his tongue on her inner thigh, close enough to her centre but not enough and she rolls her head back

Nesta is watching him and he knows it, so he looks straight into her eyes as his tongue brushes upon her sex, a light touch but it’s enough to make her moan, the sound so obscenely beautiful that he has to refrain from rutting his hips against the mattress at the divine taste of her.

 

Cassian decides to leave the teasing and his fingers to another time as the need to taste her gets stronger and he moves his tongue again, swipes it all over her and she arches so much her shoulder blades are the only part of her back still on the bed.

Nesta tries to move like she’s torn between the need of watching him and the movements her body makes as she writhes in pleasure.

His thumbs grazes her hand as his tongue keeps working on her, up and down and inside of her until her legs start to shake and her fingers close on his and she starts panting.

Cassian knows she’s close and he wants to see her come, he pulls her to him with their joined hands and she looks at him, her mouth open, her eyes wide and a broken sound goes out of her mouth “Don’t stop, please don’t stop, Cassian I’m-” her orgasm hits her midsentence, and Cassian licks her through it, following the movements her body makes until her only motion is the shaking of her legs.

He kisses her one last time before he moves up to her, cradles her face in his hands and the look on her face, Mother, _the look on her face_ : her lips are red and shiny, her hair a wild mess, her cheeks flushed and she’s perfect.

Cassian kisses her and she grips the sides of his face, pulling him to her, deepening the kiss.

He barely goes out of control when her chest meets his and he immediately moves to remove the last piece of her underwear and she’s gloriously naked under him.

He takes a moment to just watch her, all of her, and he’s in _awe_.

His hands fly to his trousers, finally freeing himself and as his cock goes out of his trouser Nesta _licks her lips._

His heart is beating so fast, the quick drumming of it inside his chest anchors Cassian to reality, to what is about to happen.

For a brief second, he doesn’t know what to do with himself; he wants to fuck her until she’s screaming, he wants to love her slowly and be bathed in the sound of her moans, _he wants, he wants, he wants_.

Cassian moves until he is between her still shaking legs and he moves his hips slowly, so achingly slowly and _fuck_ , she’s so tight, she’s so incredibly tight and warm that he feels every inch of him enveloped by her, and she’s so fucking wet, it’s _perfect_.

He hides his face in the crook of her neck, kisses all his way up to her mouth and he’s the delighted to see no pain or discomfort on her beautiful face, but only pleasure.

So he moves again and Nesta’s hands go around his neck and she looks at him and he kisses her, as her fingers slide between his hair.

She moves, opens her legs more for him and stops the kiss, her eyes into his as a growl leaves her lips and she says “ _Mine_ ”.

He stops moving for a second, he stops _breathing_ as the word sinks in, the claim in it.

 Then Cassian moves, placing her legs on his shoulders and she moves with it, careful of his wings, and then he’s diving right into her, his hips snapping, the sound of their bodies echoes in the room above their moans and whispered words.

“ _Yours_ ”, he says, and “ _Mine, mine, mine_.”

His pace is quick and deep and Nesta’s moans get louder and louder, filling the room, and he moves a hand to the peak of her sex, strokes her folds and her breathing get ragged, he can feel the shaking of her legs on his skin.

“Say it. Say that you’re mine, Nesta. _Say it_.” his voice is a deep growl thundering from his chest and she whimpers, completely lost.

“Yours, yours.” she moans and Cassian knows they are both getting close and when she comes, all around him, shivering, moaning right on his lips he can’t hold it any longer, his hips moving and moving until he can’t take it and he comes with the most heart shattering orgasm he has ever had.

 

He kisses her.

Kisses her lips, her nose, her cheeks, keeps kissing her as he eases her legs off of his shoulders, keeps kissing her as he takes her in his arms.

 

Nesta falls asleep first, and as Cassian watches her peaceful expression his mind goes to the Cauldron and to the all the places he can hide it and even if the thought of that precious object still being in Hybern makes him want to fly there as soon as he can-and he has no doubts his family is already forming a plan for it- he can’t help but laugh a little at the fact that of all the creatures living in Prythian he owes his complete happiness to the Suriel.

 

He will bring all the dresses, tunics and leathers he owns to the forest next time.

 

Maybe even a cape.


End file.
